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Week 11: Fidelity and Physical Intimacy

With my husband's permission, I am going to share a personal story from our marriage together. 
We were only married for about seven months when we learned we were pregnant with our first child. It was exciting news, but it was news we weren't prepared for. It took a toll on our marriage because we were young and still trying to figure out how to be married and to adjust to what sacrifices and changes it required. When I was eight months pregnant, I found out about my husband's pornography addiction from a quick web browser history search. I was devastated. I did not know how to handle this situation. I took it personally and instead of trying to understand my husband, I punished him for it and I alienated myself from him. I feel very fortunate that our marriage recovered from this hard time in our lives. I believe I didn't fully understand what my husband had experienced until I was pregnant with our second child and we were living in Eugene, Oregon. I was sitting by myself in Relief Society because I didn't know anyone. The lesson was about the church's resources for addiction and recovery. They played a video that made me cry so hard, I had to leave the room. View the video here:
I never fully understood the pain and suffering my husband had endured while dealing with this addiction. And on top of that, he had to deal with it alone. Something changed in me that day. I became a more loving and understanding person. I wanted to do everything possible to protect my marriage and to protect my husband. Together, we made a plan to keep our marriage and our family safe from the destructive nature of pornography. While I don't believe we are immune to the danger and exposure of pornography, I do believe that we have the skills to destroy it's presence in our lives when we are confronted by it. We are open and honest with one another. We let each other know if a movie is making one of us feel uncomfortable. He lets me know when and if there are slip-ups. We've made a mutual plan to be open and honest about sexuality with our children and to teach them of the dangers of pornography at a safe age. Hopefully with this plan and the Lord's guidance, we will be able to keep our marriage and our family safe from the harmful effects of pornography. 

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