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Has anyone ever studied the 5 Love Languages? I have not been able to stop thinking about the concept of the 5 love languages the past few weeks as we have been studying Gottman’s principles on successful marriages. The basic concept of the 5 Love Languages is that everyone feels loved when they are treated a certain way. Some may respond to more than just one love language. For example, my love language is receiving gifts. I feel loved when someone goes out of their way to get me a gift. This tells me that I am loved, appreciated, and worth what it took someone to get me this gift. My husband’s love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. He feels loved when I give him a hug, tell him he looks good on his way out the door, or when I tell him that he is a great dad. Our love languages are completely different from each other’s. I’ve noticed that when we take the time to pay attention to our love languages and really focus on what makes the other person feel loved, then there is a calming and peaceful feeling in our home. I’m wondering what might happen if I combine the concept of love languages with what I’ve learned this week about Gottman’s theory on creating shared meaning. If I am constantly turning towards my husband, creating opportunities to do things together- even if this means simply cleaning up after dinner or getting the kids ready for bed- and sharing my dreams of our future with him, how might that affect our marriage for the better? I imagine we will become stronger than ever, leaving little room for the negativity that often finds its way into our relationship. This will have a positive effect on our relationship with our two children as well.
              Making Christ a priority in the marriage can make a day-to-night difference. When I was preparing to be married, I was counseled to keep Christ at the center of our relationship. This seemed an easy enough task, if it were even a task at all. However, I’ve noticed that over time, these things that once seemed simple are now being pushed aside to make room for the busier parts of life. When my husband and I make an effort to keep Christ as our foundation, our whole marriage shifts in a positive and beautiful way. We are able to be reminded of why we are here, doing what we are doing each day. It brings a larger meaning to parenthood and allows me to become a better parent to my young kids.

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